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Old 26.03.2004, 17:59   #1
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Default Collection of signatures people use in the Internet

Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.

Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss

Don't ask me, I only work here.

Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!

Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.

Don't believe in miracles, expect them.

Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.

Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!

Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.

Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.

Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!

Don't drink and drive - Smoke dope and fly home.

Don't drink water. Fish make love in it.

Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.

Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.

Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!

Don't let school interfere with your education.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice!

Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.

Don't mess with Murphy.

Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.

Don't press the keys so damned hard!

Don't read everything you believe.

Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour.

Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.

Don't start with me. You know how I get.

Don't steal - the government hates competition..

Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely

Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.

Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.


I am a vampire. Please wash your neck.

I am both of us & so are you.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

I am functioning within established parameters.

I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.

I am sweet and lovable at all times.

I appreciate your not breathing while I smoke

I believe in a god which doesn't need heavy financing

I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries

I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to!

I can resist anything but temptation.

I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.

I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.

I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!

I could be arguing in my spare time.

I could prove God statistically.

I couldn't care less about apathy.

I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules!

I distinctly remember forgetting that.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture.

I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!

I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company.

I don't want the world, I just want your half.

I drink to make other people interesting.

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.

I find myself beside a stream of empty thought

I get mail........ I exist.

I give advice worth the price....free!

I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!

I guess a cynic smells different.

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.

I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers

I have a speech impediment... my foot.

I have already not made that point

I have given my pain a name..!!

I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

I have the mars observer and I'm not returning it until I get an 'A' in astronomy

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.

I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.

I is knot dain bramaged!

I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?

I know everything about everything, except that.

I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.

I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat!

I like to leave messages *before* the beep.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.

I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

I made it foolproof. They are making better fools!

I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up

I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.

I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.

I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it!

I post.......... I am

I promise results, not promises.

I saw, I came, I cleaned it up.

I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.

I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had!

I think, therefore I am. I think.

I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.

I think................I am paid.

I thought I was mistaken but I was mistaken.

I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walk.

I tried switching to gum but couldn't keep it lit.

I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.

I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.

I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.

I wake near the end of the day.

I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.

I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.

I would jog, but the ice would fall out of my glass.

I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I.

I'm a Bum...a BEACH Bum!

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!

I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.

I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.

I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.

I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.

I'm just looking at your nametag, honest!

I'm making a career of evil.

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.

I'm new and what's all this then?

I'm not as dumb as you look.

I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent.

I'm not even going to ignore that.

I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.

I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished

I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged."

I'm not lost, but I don't know where I am.

I'm not on drugs. I am drugs.

I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right!

I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.

I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged".

I'm not tense, just terribly A*L*E*R*T!!

I'm on the crest of a slump.

I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!

I'm pink, therefore I'm spam

I'm schizophrenic, What are you?

I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.

I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.

I'm too smart to let my intelligence go to my head.

I've got Parkinson's disease. And he's got mine.

I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?

I've got morals. I just don't know where they are.

I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

I've had a hard drive, think I'll crash.

I've had fun before. This isn't it.

I've run out of sick leave so I'm calling in dead.

I've seen the future. I can't afford it.

I've upped my standards, SO UP YOURS!
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Old 27.03.2004, 07:54   #2
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