Poluchaetca ne jit' proshlym?(let it go...)

[Arwen]

Tut byl topic...i govorili chto nel'zya jit' proshlym...
in fact all of us will agree...but not each one can do that...just let go...and forget...
you go back, analyse, try to understand what had happened...and almost never find the answer....or there are some that can...so they are happy, I guess...
so can we do???....what can we do to let it go....
elton John has gotta song....there are these words in it...::...

Spare your heart, save your soul
Don't drag your love across the coals
Find your feet and your fortune can be told
Release, relax, let go
And hey now let's recover your soul

so...should we?...how can we?...

[Helen]

Hmmm... esli ochen` tyanet vse obdumat` i ponyat`, to ya eto delayu. Razmyshlyayu, chitayu knigi i vse takoe. POtom otpuskayu s legkim serdcem. Tipa : spasibo tebe, i kak khorosho, chto vse eto bylo .

[Vega$]

Many of us say: “Let go of the past... Don’t worry about future. Live today!” But is it so easy to do? Our past is a part of us, it is what makes us. We make mistakes, pass through hardships and joy, and whether we want it, whether we notice it or not we do change with every experience. The fact that we analyze what has happened speaks for growth (this is my personal opinion), for growth mainly in emotional sense.

You say ”Those who can forget are happy”, but is it really so? I don’t remember who said these words: “Those who forget, will be destined to remember” Human brain, and memory in particular is not a PC hard, you can’t just format it and go on. I picture it like a library. Memories are like books on the shelves. There are some that gather dust for ages, and we don’t even remember them, unless something similar happens. While others are torn, and quite damaged. We go back to them almost every day. These are the brightest memories, be it in good or bad sense. Those memories that had the greatest impact on us.

But sometimes our memories drive us crazy. And it’s not about letting them go, but about our attitude towards them. Things happen, and you have to simply accept them as they are, as tough as it may get. The dialog of Gandalf and Frodo in Mines of Moria (The Fellowship of the Ring: The Shadow of the Past) comes to my mind:
‘I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo.
‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given, us…”

As for the Elton John’s song… what does it mean: ”spare your heart”? The heart (not in physical, but emotional sense), is meant to feel, to hurt, to rejoice. If we “spare” it, then you can say you have a heart of stone. And I’ll again mention a “term” that I’ve used in another topic – you become an emotionally handicapped person.

Just take whatever may come putting both your entire heart and reason on the plate. You might have regrets in the future, but you better regret for doing something, rather than for not doing, when you had a chance. Simply try to learn, find advantages and benefits, look at the positive side. It took me a long time to understand this, but pretty much whatever happens is for a reason, often a good one.

Не грусти, все будет хорошо

Sorry for such a long post, кажись меня занесло

[Arwen]

Originally posted by Vega$
Many of us say: “Let go of the past... Don’t worry about future. Live today!” But is it so easy to do? Our past is a part of us, it is what makes us. We make mistakes, pass through hardships and joy, and whether we want it, whether we notice it or not we do change with every experience. The fact that we analyze what has happened speaks for growth (this is my personal opinion), for growth mainly in emotional sense.

You say ”Those who can forget are happy”, but is it really so? I don’t remember who said these words: “Those who forget, will be destined to remember” Human brain, and memory in particular is not a PC hard, you can’t just format it and go on. I picture it like a library. Memories are like books on the shelves. There are some that gather dust for ages, and we don’t even remember them, unless something similar happens. While others are torn, and quite damaged. We go back to them almost every day. These are the brightest memories, be it in good or bad sense. Those memories that had the greatest impact on us.

But sometimes our memories drive us crazy. And it’s not about letting them go, but about our attitude towards them. Things happen, and you have to simply accept them as they are, as tough as it may get. The dialog of Gandalf and Frodo in Mines of Moria (The Fellowship of the Ring: The Shadow of the Past) comes to my mind:
‘I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo.
‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given, us…”

As for the Elton John’s song… what does it mean: ”spare your heart”? The heart (not in physical, but emotional sense), is meant to feel, to hurt, to rejoice. If we “spare” it, then you can say you have a heart of stone. And I’ll again mention a “term” that I’ve used in another topic – you become an emotionally handicapped person.

Just take whatever may come putting both your entire heart and reason on the plate. You might have regrets in the future, but you better regret for doing something, rather than for not doing, when you had a chance. Simply try to learn, find advantages and benefits, look at the positive side. It took me a long time to understand this, but pretty much whatever happens is for a reason, often a good one.

Не грусти, все будет хорошо

Sorry for such a long post, кажись меня занесло

In fact thank you for such a long topicI mostly agree.....
and maybe you're right.....they are not happy....but is there any use of thinking of something,and you have nothing to do......it's awfull....

[Vega$]

Originally posted by Arwen
In fact thank you for such a long topicI mostly agree.....
and maybe you're right.....they are not happy....but is there any use of thinking of something,and you have nothing to do......it's awfull....

It's true. Most of the time you can't do anything about it, or at least you think you can't. We tend to "get stuck" on a thought and keep on coming back to it, both making our own lives and of those people around us miserable.
What I personally do, is try to look back very calm, of course not without a little bitterness (doesn't always work though, but still). With time bad memories pass, if we lat our mind do its work it selects mainly the good memories. The bad ones pass into the shadow....

[mk]

Arwenchik, poluchaetsya kogda v proshlom ne ostaetsya otkrytyx voprosov (:
a kogda ty vozvraschaeshsya, obdmumyvaesh' i ne moejsh' naiti otveta, mojet eto ot togo, chto ty ne xochesh' sebe priznatsya v chem-to??? po raznym prichinam, mojet byt' eto stydno, glupo, bol'no, obidno??

i esche, lechit ne vremya, a to chto ego zapolnyaet...
change your context (:

[Arwen]

Originally posted by mk
Arwenchik, poluchaetsya kogda v proshlom ne ostaetsya otkrytyx voprosov (:
a kogda ty vozvraschaeshsya, obdmumyvaesh' i ne moejsh' naiti otveta, mojet eto ot togo, chto ty ne xochesh' sebe priznatsya v chem-to??? po raznym prichinam, mojet byt' eto stydno, glupo, bol'no, obidno??

i esche, lechit ne vremya, a to chto ego zapolnyaet...
change your context (:

hehe...
mik, ty prav.....naschet otkrytyx voprosov ya ne dumala....

na samom dele, ne vsegda ty sam mojesh' otvetit' na eti samye voprosy, a tot kto mojet, ne vsegda xochet....that's it.....and there are still misunderstanginds....i togda poluchaetca zamknutyi krug, iz kotorogo nikak ne vylezti....so what can we do?

P.S.
THANK ALL FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS "****"...

[Dorothy]

Если бы люди всегда знали ответы на все вопросы...
Арвен, не знаю как насчет не жить прошлым, но вот жить прошлым уж явно не получается, потому что время идет цсвоим чередом и надо идти вперед, а не зацикливаться на том, чего уже нет. Да и нас самих прежних уже нет (если ты понимаешь, о чем я, ведь все мы меняемся, c'est la vie )

[mk]

Originally posted by Arwen
hehe...
mik, ty prav.....naschet otkrytyx voprosov ya ne dumala....

na samom dele, ne vsegda ty sam mojesh' otvetit' na eti samye voprosy, a tot kto mojet, ne vsegda xochet....that's it.....and there are still misunderstanginds....i togda poluchaetca zamknutyi krug, iz kotorogo nikak ne vylezti....so what can we do?

P.S.
THANK ALL FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS "****"...

URW...

Arwen-jan.. my nemnogo nepravil'no each-other ponyali na schet voprosov (: ya doljen byl vzyat' slovo "vopros" v kavychki (:
poprobuu pereinachit' >> esli ty v ladu s soboy otnositel'no proshlogo, to ty im ne jivesh'...
esli dlya tebya vse "voprosy" zakryty (imeetsya v vidu, na nix naiden otvet, libo voproso prosto perestal byt' aktual'nym, tebya daje ne interesuet nikakoy otvet)...
i eto chisto sub'ektivno zavisit ot tebya, a ne ot kogo-to, kto doljen dat' ovet... (: esli kto-to vse esche doljen dat' otvet, to eto ne vopros proshlogo (: eto vopros nastoyaschego, kotory byl podnyat v proshlom, no imeet "continuous" svoystvo (:
that's all falks... (:

[aramx]

Жить прошлым нельзя. По одной простой причине, что все вокруг меняется, меняешься ты, меняются люди вокруг тебя...

Если жить прошлым, то можно свехнутся.

Надо лишь иногда смотреть назад, и понять что ты сделал(а) неправильно, и постаратся не повторять этого в будущем.