Brain Cramps
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A democratic congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH)
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
__________________
So much good, so much evil. Just add water. (c)
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