The Letters

[Elvis_Jr]

It all started when one of my buddies received a standard spam letter. All of us have received them and few of us or maybe even nobody found time to respond. Actually what the story with the letters is not over yet, but I promise to inform you about all the new events.
Why decided to post it? Well first of all that's pretty funny. And second, you might be interested what would have happened if you'd answered.

Here we go

Here's what my friend got
----- Original Message -----
From: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, August 06, 2004 5:26 AM
Subject: MAY I CRAVE YOUR INDULGENCE?


Dear Friend,

My name is Mr. Okoko Kimse. I hail from South Africa, 41years, married with
three children. I am the Director of Global Security & Finance Services
Limited South Africa.

I have been working with this company for over fifteen years. Within this
period, I have watched with meticulous precision how African Heads of State
and Government functionaries have been using Global Security & Finance Ltd
to move sums of money USD, Pounds Sterling, French Francs (cash) to their
foreign partners.

They bring in these consignments of cash and secretly declare the contents
as jewelries, gold, diamonds, precious stones, family treasures, and
documents
etc.Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire (dead), Gen. Sanni Abacha of Nigeria (dead),
Fode Sankoy of Sierra Leone, Ibrahim Babangida of Nigeria, Felix Houphet
Boigny of Cote d"Ivoire (dead), Kanan Bedie of Cote d"Ivoire (Abidjan) etc.
All these people have many consignments deposited with my office.

Their foreign partners, friends and relatives are claiming most of these
consignments. A lot of them are lying here unclaimed for as much as eight
years. Nobody will ever come for them because in most cases, the Certificate
of Deposit is never available to anybody except the depositors or me since
most of them are dead.I have through the instrumentality of Global
Security & Finance re-deposited all these unclaimed and overstayed
consignment
into the Vault Facility of a reputable Security Company in Europe.

Since the inception of the year 2000, our company's management has changed
the procedure of claims of consignment, as soon as you are able to produce
the secret information as contained in the secret file of any consignment,
it will be released to you upon demand.

I have finalized every arrangement for you to claim consignment No. 1401,
1402 containing $47.5 Million. I will supply you with all the information
and documents that will facilitate your easy claim of the consignment. Upon
your positive reply of this letter, I will furnish you with further details
and information regarding the modus operandi for the execution of the
transaction.
This business is risk free as I have taken necessary preventive measures.
(The mode of sharing will be 60% for me 30% for you and 10% for incidental
expenses), you can reach me by email and I will direct you on what to do.
Upon your positive consideration and reply of this letter I shall furnish
you with further details on how to realize this deal. Please expedite
action.

If this is agreeable to you, contact me on this e-mail address
thus[email protected]


Yours faithfully,

Okoko Kimse

[Elvis_Jr]

Here's the answer. Check out the beauty of the language and imagination

From: "**** *********" <******@*****.am>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, August 08, 2004 10:16 PM
Subject: Re: MAY I CRAVE YOUR INDULGENCE?


> Dear Okoko
>
> Your intellectual approach to fundraising has provoked not only my great
> interest, but also my genuine affection for you. In the cruel reality of
> ours, where people's distrust is growing faster than the ozone holes, I
> rarely come across such delightful, acute-minded, and yet
> instincts-awakening women as you. I think our partnership may willingly
> outstretch the cecular limits of financial burdens and grow into a
> voluminous, passion-saturated, and body-shivering emotion.
> Thus, Okoko my sweetheart, let's leave the financial confinement and
> join our earthly lives in a place where wine is flowing among river banks,
> where honey is flushing in fountains, where the moon kisses the earth..
I'm
> talking about Armenia...
> Please, make a quick purchase of a ticket and fly to me here in Armenia,
> Yerevan City and I'll make you the happiest woman in the world and you'll
> make me the happiest man on earth.
> If I managed to attract your innocent attention to my humble personality,
> please let me prepare a good reception for you at our international
airport
> Zvartnots with a cheering orchestra and millions of roses. However, for
this
> I will need a little help from you, since I've recently invested my
finances
> in a local business of tourism (30.000$). So I'll just need 400$ for
> preparation of the ceremony. Please, feel so much free to help out your
> love-to-be at the HSBC account 001 ***** ****
>
> Waiting with passion and love
> yours
> ****** Resengstein

[Elvis_Jr]

The spammer got very much surprised by such approach. Here's what he wrote:

> Dear ********,
> Top of the day and may the good lord continue to bless
you.Thanks
> for your response to my letter and your indication of your willingness to
be
> part of this transaction.
> However before i go on,please from now henceforth all your
email
> messages to me,must be sent to this email address
> thus[email protected],please take note of this.
> Nevertheless,i do not know where and how you got the impression
> that i am a woman,and how you came up with the love advances.Let us even
> assume that i am a woman what makes you think,that i could fall in love
with
> you,just like that?
> Anyway what i sent to you was a business proposal and not a love
> proposal,and unfortunately also,i am not a woman,i am a man like you.So i
> believe you should not be disappointed to hear that,i am not a woman.?
> So please let me know if you are still interested ,so that i can give
you
> further informations.Thanks and God bless.
> Yours,
> Okoko Kimse.

[Elvis_Jr]

And my friend answered:

Dear Okoko
>
> You broke my heart and only some 200$ can glue it back and fertilize it
for
> a business affair. So I can only repeat my bank account HSBC 001 **** ***
***,
> Armenia.
>
> Otherly, I do like your business suggestion and I just hope and call on
God
> that you be able to can afford rehabilitating my heart for our further
> collaboration.
>
> So much yours
> ******

[Elvis_Jr]

Here Okoko finally gets angry and writes a letter entitled "We are not jokers". Probably this is the point whre he understood he was being mocked:

********,
Please be informed that we are not jokers,if you know that you are interested in this transaction,please let us know and stop all these time wasting.Thanks and God bless.
Yours,
Okoko Kimse


But my friend doesn't give up easily Here's what he wrote back:

Okoko
I am extremely interested in transaction. Let's go on with details.

Just one question before we carry on. Actually two. First: are you black? If so was it difficult with your color of skin to become a director of that company in a country like SAR?

OK, now let's go on with details.
God bless your, the three children of yours and your non-female heart.
********


To Be Continued

[PsilocybeLarvae]

Originally Posted by Elvis_Jr

To Be Continued

yeah, please don't forget

[Elvis_Jr]

Here's the continuation

Later my friend sent Okoko his granpa's phone number. To our surprise Okoke actually called. Unfortunatly the grandpa didn't speak Englishso here's what Okoko wrote:


*******,

Does it mean you do not speak English,how do you write the messages you send to me then?

I just called the number you gave to me,to at least speak with you,I am not too sure if you are the one that picked the phone,but the person that picked it obviously do not speak English atall.Anyway i just want to let you know that i called to speak with you,but unfortunately you could not speak English.Please contact the lawyer as i direct in the previous message,i sent to you.Thanks and God bless.

Okoko Kimse


My friend was really sorry he didn't gave Okoko his real number, so he decided to right that horrible wrong:

To: Kimse Okoko
Sent: Friday, August 13, 2004 3:59 AM
Subject: Re: You don't speak English.


I'm presently staying under the number (374 1) ******, so you can try to call there, too.
The person you spoke to was my proud white Armenian grandpa.
I think I should talk to you before contacting the attorney.
waiting for your call, my proud Afro-African non-female friend and let your South African God bless your passionate efforts and your never-fading enthusiasm.
yours for ages
*******

[Elvis_Jr]

As we were both having vacation Okoko didn't hear from my friend for a few days. He started to worry:
Sent: Monday, August 16, 2004 12:24 PM
Subject: what is happening?


******,
Please let me know how far you have gone with things.Thanks.

Yours,

Okoko Kimse

Soon as we got back my friend wrote the following letter to Okoko. Let's just hope Okoko didn't have a heart attack:


To: Kimse Okoko
Sent: Wednesday, August 18, 2004 10:04 PM
Subject: showdown


Dear Okoko
I've got some bad news.
I've contacted the ministry of justice of SAR and let them know about your illegal activities and our illegal plans. I did it only because my conscience made me do it. Please, try to understand that this world needs a little more justice.
The authorities must now be on their way to you. Please, do not try to leave the country or hide anywhere. This is only done for your own good.
My prayers are with you tonight.
yours
*******

Can't wait to read his answer

To be concluded...

[Red Stone]

Barew Elvis Jr!

This is the kind of swindling (with all the ingredients) that in the 80s used to come from Nigeria (strangely, or not, the name of this guy sounds to me more Nigerian than South African) the potential targets being banks! Yes sir they tried to cheat with banks. Being in charge of the International Relations in a bank I've received quite a lot of suggestions of "business" with similar traces, by ordinary mail. I sent the first one to the Investigation Police, but have never received a feedback. So just filed the others in a separate folder marked "Swindling Tries".

May be they have given up playing with banks and now they take advantage of Internet for making things easier with private individuals and smaller amounts.

Your friend is playing a very dangereous game, as these guys are fairly well organized, and while having a base in Nigeria, have tentacles all over the world.

First rule in things like this: Never reply!

Now an advice for your friend. If it's still time, it would be better he didn't furnish any phone number. For safety reasons.

Lav egheq!

[Elvis_Jr]

I really doubt these guys have tentacles in Armenia
Although I still don't understand where's the catch. Anyway as you saw my friend doesn't want to go further either. This simply is a great joke for our friend Okoko

[Red Stone]

Uff! I feel better now!

When reading the first letters I've amused myself as your friend was amusing himself.

I decided to post when I saw the story of phone numbers... Things could start to be serious...

Anyway, as far as I know (neither I nor my former bank fell on the trap) they try to get money first. If this fails they use the previous and further correspondence very conveniently (for them) for a kind of blackmail purposes.

Cheers to you and your friend!

[Elvis_Jr]

Thanx

[JennyWren]

Oh I personally received many e-mails with similiar content
Well but the names were always different. One time it was some refugee in France from Algeria, the other time some American and so on. They always have some nice written tragical story for you and after that they beg you to do some transaction for them promising you a big amount for the successful deal.

I read in AIF that in Russia such gangs send their spams not only by e-mail but also by ordinary mail thus deceiving poor pensioners. They state that the receiver has inherited 1000000$ from his late aunt in Austria. So receiver of such mail has to send only 100$ to lawyer in Austria to make transaction to his/her account.People after sending this $100 some while ago discover that all their neigbours also have received the letters with the same content.

[Elvis_Jr]

Originally Posted by programmer1

.People after sending this $100 some while ago discover that all their neigbours also have received the letters with the same content.

[Elvis_Jr]

This may be the end unless my friend decides to continue

----- Original Message -----
From: Kimse Okoko
To: Sergey Sargsyan
Sent: Monday, August 23, 2004 10:19 AM
Subject: Re: showdown


Sergey,

You are very very stupid.I am waiting for whoever you sent to me


Looks like Okoko still has hopes.