He said, she said :)
10) He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?
9) She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
8) He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.
7) He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king'.
She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen'
6) On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it: "I do not."
5) He said... "Shall we try switching positions tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. "
4) Priest said... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.' She said...'Who's gonna look?'
3) He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
2) He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight
She said...Okay,but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
AND THE NUMBER 1 "He said...She said"..
1) He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would, but you're never there.
Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident.
He rushes to the hospital, runs into the ER and says his wife's been in an accident.
They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case.
They page the doctor.
He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?"
The doctor sits next to him and says, "Not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine."
"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones, "what will be her prognosis?"
Dr. Smith says "Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her."
Mr. Jones begins to sob.
"And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia."
Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers must be
changed at least five times a day."
Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs,wails.
The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincters. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she'll be emitting regularly."
Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.
Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder.
"Hey, I'm just ****ing with you, she's dead.
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