"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording
device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and
a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave
me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave
a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very
sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to
resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly
compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."
(Narrator's voice
There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the
telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet
paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible
speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain.
The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
Answering Machine Messages
